Original Music

What Did You Do To Me?

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Because the original version was nearly 6 minutes long, I submitted a shortened version of my original song “WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?” The Monthly Prompt asked us to create a song either about mental health or our experience with mental health, and I chose the latter. Music has always been an outlet for me to speak on things that have hurt me or that continue to hurt me. This song specifically is about my religious trauma, and how I felt growing up in an extremely hostile environment as a queer person. Growing up being taught to believe that my feelings as a queer person were evil made accepting myself and being comfortable in my skin an impossible task, even now I struggle to unlearn that toxic belief system. I made this song as to let these loud, angry emotions out, allowing the anger, the sadness, and the desperation build into a wall of sound that encapsulated my feelings perfectly. In the lyrics, I speak on both the inconsistencies of my religions beliefs and my belief that love cannot be demonized no matter who it is shared by. At the end of the song I take responsibility for the pain I am feeling and am choosing to instead focus on healing than to point the blame at an entity and restart the cycle of hate that has gone on for longer than I have lived. I choose to believe that if there is a God, it is not as unkind as we all think it is. Simply, in this song, I wanted to bring awareness to the homophobic and transphobic rhetoric all over the country, and ask others, including myself, to not turn our hate into anger but instead heal.

the hard truth

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I wrote the song ‘the hard truth’ during a period of my life when I felt as if I had lost everything and that led me to consider what exactly was wrong with me because I felt as if I couldn’t hold on to anything. As I began to reflect on my life and experiences, I realized that I do have flaws and I am insecure but that does not make me any less worthy of chasing my dreams and holding on to the possibility of being able to live the life I want to ten years down the line. For me, my ideal life is to spend it making music and touring, being one of the biggest artists of my time. Being a part of the music industry can be defeating because of how little hope there might seem. Nonetheless, I wrote this song to prove to myself that I have what it takes to turn my dreams into a reality while also accepting that I am flawed but still working towards being better so I can do better.

We Will Pull Through

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This song is about finding strength and community within those around you, reaching out to your support system and relying on others through tough times. It’s also a bit of a call to action, talking about how change starts in your life with yourself and you have a bigger impact on your community than you may think.

Hold On

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This song is about how I really struggled with my mental health issues a few months ago and was starting to lose hope that things would get better until certain people came into my life. Those people have now become a few of my closest friends and have made a huge impact on my life. They showed me that things eventually get better.

GRYZZ

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Hello, My name is Christian and this is my song. I go by GRRYZ. I picked this name because I was work shopping trying to find my own identity outside myself. I wrote original lyrics and music and recorded at the TAY Stepping Stones Studio. Music and song writing helps me find a voice that I previously could not bring out of myself, and helps me with my mental health challenges – anxiety and depression. The GRRYZ persona is someone who is not afraid to speak out about what he is feeling.

Lyrics to the song:
Long ahead and up the road, the constant struggles that I find never fail to keep me up. I swear this happens every time. Always battled my depression but this time I crossed the line, allowed myself to journey inside my intoxicated mind. I’ve reached a new height, I didn’t pass out after some Hennessy. Filled another cup because i’m drinking to my legacy. I remained to myself, not someone else that you pretend to be. I thought I pretend to be. I thought I lost my cool but now it’s just another memory. Who am I to think I couldn’t shine without a new flame. Trying to spark a match, this kind of weather gives me joint pain. LMFAO i’m downing shots, I still have no shame. I could never build a buzz, i’ll be remembered as a no name. Now is not the time to sober up, I still can’t think straight. The many complications that I have inside my peabrain. I gotta save myself, I can’t gotta save myself, I can’t afford another delay. So this what it’s like to be productive on a
weekday? All of your socials are stopping you being vocal. You crave attention from views, likes, and comments on your photos. You could miss a couple of texts to call some people when you’re solo. I gave it another chance but you still proved that it’s a no-go.
I’m not a game to play. Stop disrespecting me. Not really busy, but making it up along the way. I’m really trying to get on out of my comfort zone. So please excuse me for getting soft on a different tone. My last left me a broken mess, I was all alone. Screaming for help, I broke my walls and turned them to stepping stones. Can I be blamed for feeling it deep inside my bones? Don’t want to fight, all I really want is a second home.

In The Present

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My entry is a piece that is felt very close to the heart and is felt to best relate with the topic of hope. In many ways I find writing and music a coping strategy when facing any overwhelming obstacles headed my way, and with my best intention I wish to share this specific writing to help those in times of struggle. This song references a certain point in my life where I felt loneliness to a deeper extent, it was hard seeking help when I didn’t know how to help myself, and with that I dealt with long, hard nights that I know are challenging to face. Though, I wanted to recognize that there is a reason to keep going, thus the idea to help others recognize this as well. Life was granted to us as a gift, a gift to learn and love, experience and grow to our greatest ability and understand that within ourselves holds the strength to push through and enjoy what’s been granted to us, I want to let others know that the tough days/nights are the parts that lead us to growth, to embrace this gift of life and approach the obstacles step by step, little by little, in time, presently.

the music flows

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“the music flows” and its lyrics detail different ways that music has personally helped me through my own life experiences. I have constantly turned to music as an escape during stressful stretches of school, as well as during heartbreaking family issues and as a way of coping with death. During these times, music has helped remind me to ride with the crashing waves and go with the flow of life. Whenever listening to music, I can feel its therapeutic effects flowing throughout my whole body, relieving me of pain and built-up stresses. As a music student, making music provides me a creative outlet to express my own emotions in ways I’m unable to any other way. While listening to this piece, I hope others are reminded of the vital importance and power that music holds as an art form.

Lyrics:

verse 1:
i feel its power through a beat
gives me hope, when I’m in too deep
i feel its power through heartfelt lines
it’s fueling fire, on my darkest nights

chorus:
the music flows
the music flows
the music flows
the music flows
the music flows
the music flows

verse 2:
it calms me when i’m stressed,
it helps me battle my unrest,
the music makes me feel ok
as I am breathing out,
i let my guards down,
and with the chorus i feel fine

bridge:
woah
the music flows
woah

chorus:
the music flows
the music flows
the music flows
the music flows
the music flows
the music flows

outro:
i can feel my dreams take flight,
a melody that turns dark to light
even in silence, i’m never alone
through a safe place i’ve made my own
the music is me
through music I’m free

A Walk in the Garden

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Writing and playing music allows me to feel at peace. It allows me to connect to my true self and to God. When I play, there is a sense of peace, and wholeness that allows me to keep going without a sense of doubt or negativity. Music, I find therapeutic. Let’s say I feel stressed. I go into my room and play my guitar, piano, or even listen to music. This is calming to me and lowers my heart beat.

Save Me

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Our song “Save Me” is a three minute long original song that conveys the challenges of mental health. Using music as a way to relieve stress and to give many unseen teens a voice through our song. Bringing awareness to the mental health issues that kids nowadays develop as a result of lack of love and support from loved ones. Often times we find ourselves feeling alone in a room full of people we’ve known our whole lives. Yet it feels like none of them listen to our cries for help. Therefore, we present “Save Me” as a saving grace, not just for us, but for everyone who deals with the same problems.

Christmas Mix

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Our entry is a fun song to listen to with your family on Christmas.